- Denial (i.e., “It’s probably just my deadlifts.”);
- Anger (i.e., “Why me? I take care of my body!”);
- Bargaining (i.e., “If I just rest more, maybe it’ll get better.”);
- Depression (i.e., “I’ll never get better.”); and
- Finally, acceptance (i.e, “I will need to learn to live with this.”).
Grieving the loss of who I was physically was just as real as grieving a loved one. It came with identity shifts, social withdrawal and deep sadness.
2. Arthritis Forces You to Play Small
Bit by bit, my world contracted. I went from multi-day mountain treks to choosing walks based on the shortest route home. I started making decisions based on how long I’d have to sit or stand, instead of what I actually wanted to do.
The impact of this loss of freedom is easy to underestimate when caring for patients.
3. The Definition of Quality of Life Is Different for Everyone
Sure, I looked better than a lot of patients who undergo total hip arthroplasty. I could still walk. I could still do some types of exercise. But to me, this wasn’t acceptable. I was an active athlete and wanted to continue to be one.
4. The Value of a Second Opinion
I wasted months—maybe years—thinking this pain was just the price of overtraining and that I just had to learn how to live with it. But persistent support from my physical therapist and community inspired me to keep searching for answers.
5. Joint Pain Sucks
No amount of rheumatology training prepares you for the lived experience of chronic joint pain. It’s isolating, exhausting and all-consuming. Now when my patients say they’re tired, hopeless or short-tempered, I understand with lived empathy, not just clinical sympathy.
6. Uncertainty & Lack of Hope Suck
Before I had a diagnosis, every day felt like a roll of the dice—trying one more stretch, modifying one more activity. The ambiguity was almost worse than the pain.
As clinicians, we underestimate the power of saying, “This is what I think is going on, and here’s what we can try next.”
7. A Good Physical Therapist Is Worth Every Penny
My physical therapist never gave up on me, even when it felt like we were stalling. She adapted and adjusted, always thinking critically. She celebrated my wins and held me when I cried. Her compassion, creativity and persistence were more impactful than any medication I took.
