Image Credit: Tyler Olson/shutterstock.com
When the code that you need is not clear
Just keep this poem quite near
If you’re struck by a parrot
Just grin and bear it
ICD-10 has you covered my dear.
W61.02XA Struck by parrot, initial encounter
And if you’re ever struck by a cow
I don’t even want to know how
Rest assured: there’s a code
I thought you should know
To be more careful around animals now.
W55.22XA Struck by cow, initial encounter
You might think water skiing’s fun
ICD sees it differently, son.
They imagine things dire
Like skis catching fire
Thank goodness there’s a code for that one!
V91.07XA Burn due to water-skis on fire, initial encounter
Love fishing? What could go wrong?
For ICD-10, it doesn’t take long
For your boat to be crushed
All its passengers flushed
Submerged, drowned, and gone.
V90.32XA Drowning and submersion due to falling or jumping from crushed fishing boat, initial encounter
A pet turtle won’t always like you
Just watch him, he could lash out and strike you
It’s a reptilian curse!
But don’t let it get worse
Find the code … before Medicare fines you!
W59.22XA Struck by turtle, initial encounter
If space flight is really your thing
Getting struck by a rocket can sting
Whether just once or more
There are new codes galore
Who knows what space travel can bring?
V97.39XA Other injury to person on ground due to air transport accident, initial encounter
With luck you’ll be lucky in marriage
And parenthood? I’d never disparage.
But an unlucky bloke
(No, this isn’t a joke)
Could collide with his baby and carriage.
V00.09XA Pedestrian on foot injured in collision with other pedestrian conveyance, initial encounter
We’ve tried to understand the intention
Of ICD-10’s invention
It’s supposed to be safer
But it seems like a caper
And, oh, what a painful transition.
Z60.0 Problems of adjustment to life-cycle transitions
So how did we get in this mess?
Is there no way it can be addressed?
It takes too much time!
Call it F43.9!
(An unspecified reaction to stress)
F43.9 Reaction to severe stress, unspecified
Robert H. Shmerling, MD, is the clinical chief of rheumatology at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, the chair of the ACR’s Committee on Ethics and Conflict of Interest and an unrecognized-to-date poet.